Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Dinner For One - Same Procedure As Every Year

Thinking about the American tradition "A Christmas Story" yesterday made me think about a German tradition around the holidays - that is to watch "Dinner for One" on New Year's Eve.
The story itself could be a bit from the Carol Burnett show (OMG, I'm dating myself I think). It is rather simple, a woman is turning 90 but still wants to celebrate her birthday with her friends... unfortunately they have died at least 25 years before. So she has her butler stand in for all of the friends every year.
James: The same procedure as last year, Miss Sophie?
Miss Sophie: The same procedure as every year, James!
She chooses what kind of alcohol will go with each course, and the butler gets to drink for all of the guests - wonder why he never eats for all of the guests? hmmm.
Anyway it is a cute little movie, and definitely worth the 10 minutes.
Hey James, watch out for the tiger!






Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Germany Wants Rumsfeld's Head...

Germany is asking that Donald Rumsfeld be brought before the world court to be accused of war crimes. BOY, you know you've screwed up when the GERMANS are accusing you of war crimes!
-- Jay Leno

You'll Shoot Your Eye Out.

OK, being out of the country over Christmas isn't all it's cracked up to be.
One thing I really missed was the TBS 24 Hour Marathon of "A Christmas Story"
There just isn't anything like it. Deliciously satiric and wonderfully funny. Ralphie and his kiddie hijinks makes my ribs hurt. When he drops the F bomb in front of his Dad I think I'm gonna die! His little brother all bundled up in the winter clothing... so much so that he can't move his arms... OMG!

While I was hunting around for Christmas Story stuff I came across these two things... The first one is a commercial for Cingular Wireless... The second one is a goofy game called "Don't shoot your eye out". The latter isn't so much fun, but cute when you manage to hit yourself.







And just to prove that you can make a trailer for any movie come off totally different than the movie...
A Christmas Gory





Monday, November 27, 2006

Pink







Give it to us Pink!

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Saturday, November 25, 2006

Great Truths in Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not peeing in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 16 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 20 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 35 success is . . . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 60 success is . . . going all the way.
At age 70 success is . . . having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . ... not peeing in your pants.

Friday, November 24, 2006

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Things That You Can Say ONLY at Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving

1. Talk about a huge breast!
2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
3. It's Cool Whip time!
4. If I don't undo my pants, I'll burst!
5. Whew, that's one terrific spread!
6. I'm in the mood for a little dark meat.
7. Are you ready for seconds yet?
8. It's a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
9. Just wait your turn, you'll get some!
10. Don't play with your meat.
11. Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
12. Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?
13. I didn't expect everyone to come at once!
14. You still have a little bit on your chin. (scott?)
15. How long will it take after you stick it in?
16. You'll know it's ready when it pops up.
17. Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!
18. That's the biggest one I've ever seen!
19. How long do I beat it before it's ready?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

No Exit

No Exit

Who Should Apologize to the Troops?

Bush Owes Troops Apology, Not Kerry
By Keith Olbermann
MSMBC Countdown

Wednesday 01 November 2006

Bush "appearing to be stupid" about Kerry's joke.

On the 22nd of May, 1856, as the deteriorating American political system veered toward the edge of the cliff, U.S. Rep. Preston Brooks of South Carolina shuffled into the Senate of this nation, his leg stiff from an old dueling injury, supported by a cane. And he looked for the familiar figure of the prominent senator from Massachusetts, Charles Sumner.

Brooks found Sumner at his desk, mailing out copies of a speech he had delivered three days earlier - a speech against slavery.

The congressman matter-of-factly raised his walking stick in midair and smashed its metal point across the senator's head.

Congressman Brooks hit his victim repeatedly. Sen. Sumner somehow got to his feet and tried to flee. Brooks chased him and delivered untold blows to Sumner's head. Even though Sumner lay unconscious and bleeding on the Senate floor, Brooks finally stopped beating him only because his cane finally broke.

Others will cite John Brown's attack on the arsenal at Harper's Ferry as the exact point after which the Civil War became inevitable.

In point of fact, it might have been the moment, not when Brooks broke his cane over the prostrate body of Sen. Sumner - but when voters in Brooks' district started sending him new canes.

Tonight, we almost wonder to whom President Bush will send the next new cane.

There is tonight no political division in this country that he and his party will not exploit, nor have not exploited; no anxiety that he and his party will not inflame.

There is no line this president has not crossed - nor will not cross - to keep one political party in power.

He has spread any and every fear among us in a desperate effort to avoid that which he most fears - some check, some balance against what has become not an imperial, but a unilateral presidency.

And now it is evident that it no longer matters to him whether that effort to avoid the judgment of the people is subtle and nuanced or laughably transparent.

Sen. John Kerry called him out Monday.

He did it two years too late.

He had been too cordial - just as Vice President Gore had been too cordial in 2000, just as millions of us have been too cordial ever since.

Sen. Kerry, as you well know, spoke at a college in Southern California. With bitter humor he told the students that he had been in Texas the day before, that President Bush used to live in that state, but that now he lives in the state of denial.

He said the trip had reminded him about the value of education - that "if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you can get stuck in Iraq."

The senator, in essence, called Mr. Bush stupid.

The context was unmistakable: Texas; the state of denial; stuck in Iraq. No interpretation required.

And Mr. Bush and his minions responded by appearing to be too stupid to realize that they had been called stupid.

They demanded Kerry apologize to the troops in Iraq.

And so he now has.

That phrase - "appearing to be too stupid" - is used deliberately, Mr. Bush.

Because there are only three possibilities here.

One, sir, is that you are far more stupid than the worst of your critics have suggested; that you could not follow the construction of a simple sentence; that you could not recognize your own life story when it was deftly summarized; that you could not perceive it was the sad ledger of your presidency that was being recounted.

This, of course, compliments you, Mr. Bush, because even those who do not "make the most of it," who do not "study hard," who do not "do their homework," and who do not "make an effort to be smart" might still just be stupid, but honest.

No, the first option, sir, is, at best, improbable. You are not honest.

The second option is that you and those who work for you deliberately twisted what Sen. Kerry said to fit your political template; that you decided to take advantage of it, to once again pretend that the attacks, solely about your own incompetence, were in fact attacks on the troops or even on the nation itself.

The third possibility is, obviously, the nightmare scenario: that the first two options are in some way conflated.

That it is both politically convenient for you and personally satisfying to you, to confuse yourself with the country for which, sir, you work.

A brief reminder, Mr. Bush: You are not the United States of America.

You are merely a politician whose entire legacy will have been a willingness to make anything political; to have, in this case, refused to acknowledge that the insult wasn't about the troops, and that the insult was not even truly about you either, that the insult, in fact, is you.

So now John Kerry has apologized to the troops; apologized for the Republicans' deliberate distortions.

Thus, the president will now begin the apologies he owes our troops, right?

This president must apologize to the troops for having suggested, six weeks ago, that the chaos in Iraq, the death and the carnage, the slaughtered Iraqi civilians and the dead American service personnel, will, to history, "look like just a comma."

This president must apologize to the troops because the intelligence he claims led us into Iraq proved to be undeniably and irredeemably wrong.

This president must apologize to the troops for having laughed about the failure of that intelligence at a banquet while our troops were in harm's way.

This president must apologize to the troops because the streets of Iraq were not strewn with flowers and its residents did not greet them as liberators.

This president must apologize to the troops because his administration ran out of "plan" after barely two months.

This president must apologize to the troops for getting 2,815 of them killed.

This president must apologize to the troops for getting this country into a war without a clue.

And Mr. Bush owes us an apology for this destructive and omnivorous presidency.

We will not receive them, of course.

This president never apologizes.

Not to the troops.

Not to the people.

Nor will those henchmen who have echoed him.

In calling him a "stuffed suit," Sen. Kerry was wrong about the press secretary.

Mr. Snow's words and conduct, falsely earnest and earnestly false, suggest he is not "stuffed," he is inflated.

And in leaving him out of the equation, Sen. Kerry gave an unwarranted pass to his old friend Sen. John McCain, who should be ashamed of himself tonight.

He rolled over and pretended Kerry had said what he obviously had not.

Only, the symbolic stick he broke over Kerry's head came in a context even more disturbing.

Mr. McCain demanded the apology while electioneering for a Republican congressional candidate in Illinois.

He was speaking of how often he had been to Walter Reed Hospital to see the wounded Iraq veterans, of how "many of them have lost limbs."

He said all this while demanding that the voters of Illinois reject a candidate who is not only a wounded Iraq veteran, but who lost two limbs there, Tammy Duckworth.

Support some of the wounded veterans. But bad-mouth the Democratic one.

And exploit all the veterans and all the still-serving personnel in a cheap and tawdry political trick to try to bury the truth: that John Kerry said the president had been stupid.

And to continue this slander as late as this morning - as biased or gullible or lazy newscasters nodded in sleep-walking assent.

Sen. McCain became a front man in a collective lie to break sticks over the heads of Democrats - one of them his friend, another his fellow veteran, legless, for whom he should weep and applaud or at minimum about whom he should stay quiet.

That was beneath the senator from Arizona.

And it was all because of an imaginary insult to the troops that his party cynically manufactured out of a desperation and a futility as deep as that of Congressman Brooks, when he went hunting for Sen. Sumner.

This is our beloved country now as you have redefined it, Mr. Bush.

Get a tortured Vietnam veteran to attack a decorated Vietnam veteran in defense of military personnel whom that decorated veteran did not insult.

Or, get your henchmen to take advantage of the evil lingering dregs of the fear of miscegenation in Tennessee, in your party's advertisements against Harold Ford.

Or, get the satellites who orbit around you, like Rush Limbaugh, to exploit the illness - and the bipartisanship - of Michael J. Fox. Yes, get someone to make fun of the cripple.

Oh, and sir, don't forget to drag your own wife into it.

"It's always easy," she said of Mr. Fox's commercials - and she used this phrase twice - "to manipulate people's feelings."

Where on earth might the first lady have gotten that idea, Mr. President?

From your endless manipulation of people's feelings about terrorism?

"However they put it," you said Monday of the Democrats, on the subject of Iraq, "their approach comes down to this: The terrorists win, and America loses."

No manipulation of feelings there.

No manipulation of the charlatans of your administration into the only truth-tellers.

No shocked outrage at the Kerry insult that wasn't; no subtle smile as the first lady silently sticks the knife in Michael J. Fox's back; no attempt on the campaign trail to bury the reality that you have already assured that the terrorists are winning.

Winning in Iraq, sir.

Winning in America, sir.

There we have chaos - joint U.S.-Iraqi checkpoints at Sadr City, the base of the radical Shiite militias, and the Americans have been ordered out by the prime minister of Iraq .. and our secretary of defense doesn't even know about it!

And here we have deliberate, systematic, institutionalized lying and smearing and terrorizing - a code of deceit that somehow permits a president to say, "If you listen carefully for a Democrat plan for success, they don't have one."

Permits him to say this while his plan in Iraq has amounted to a twisted version of the advice once offered to Lyndon Johnson about his Iraq, called Vietnam.

Instead of "declare victory and get out" we now have "declare victory and stay indefinitely."

And also here - we have institutionalized the terrorizing of the opposition.

True domestic terror:

Critics of your administration in the media receive letters filled with fake anthrax.

Braying newspapers applaud or laugh or reveal details the FBI wished kept quiet, and thus impede or ruin the investigation.

A series of reactionary columnists encourages treason charges against a newspaper that published "national security information" that was openly available on the Internet.

One radio critic receives a letter threatening the revelation of as much personal information about her as can be obtained and expressing the hope that someone will then shoot her with an AK-47 machine gun.

And finally, a critic of an incumbent Republican senator, a critic armed with nothing but words, is attacked by the senator's supporters and thrown to the floor in full view of television cameras as if someone really did want to re-enact the intent - and the rage - of the day Preston Brooks found Sen. Charles Sumner.

Of course, Mr. President, you did none of these things.

You instructed no one to mail the fake anthrax, nor undermine the FBI's case, nor call for the execution of the editors of the New York Times, nor threaten to assassinate Stephanie Miller, nor beat up a man yelling at Sen. George Allen, nor have the first lady knife Michael J. Fox, nor tell John McCain to lie about John Kerry.

No, you did not.

And the genius of the thing is the same as in King Henry's rhetorical question about Archbishop Thomas Becket: "Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?"

All you have to do sir, is hand out enough new canes.

I'm Keith Olbermann. Good night, and good luck.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Interesting Quote

"Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Monday, November 20, 2006

OJ Simpson -- What is This Guy Thinking?

OJ
Short News Story

What is he up to?
IF this guy had a conscience, he would be ashamed.

OJ has written a new book. In this book he walks though the way the murders would have to have been committed. He stops short of confessing... but come on, we all know he's guilty... he knows he's guilty...
My question is WHY?
Actually I may be able to answer my own question. He's a publicity hound. He's wanting to be back in the spotlight again... back to his old Heisman Trophy days. Of course he knows they can't try him again. Of course he will be hiding very carefully any money made from the book. But I really think it's disgusting.

In an unexpected turn of events... it seems I actually agree with Geraldo on something. The company that is publishing the book is also the company that owns the FOX Network. So FOX has been pushing the heck out of the book, including the opening "exclusive" two part interview with the wife-killer. Well Geraldo, who of course is a special reporter for the FOX network let it all hang out and basically said that it is simply disgusting what OJ is doing... way to go against the establishment G-man!

Doesn't OJ know that all of this hype will deflect attention from him getting help finding the real killers?... not
____________________________________________
UPDATE
November 20th
OK, so FOX is killing the "exclusive interview" and the parent company is evidently going to stop the release of the book!
Finally, someone is thinking. Rupert Murdoch even came out with a "We're sorry to the families of the victims..." Good boy! I guess the old bastard isn't just driven by the caa-ching of the money machine... maybe he actually has a heart... NOT.. again. Ladies and gentlemen I would BET MONEY that the advertizers started to pull out like mad... so in the end it WAS money that made them back off from what was a bad decision to begin with. Oh well... it was a nice thought.
I'm just happy that OJ won't get his stage to relive his glory days.

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Yoga Kitty

Yoga Kitty
Click here
to learn how you and your kitty can become as one by doing yoga together!
Too Funny! Or too sick... depends on how you see it! :)

Mexico City Approves Gay Civil Unions

MEXICO CITY - Mexico City's assembly on Thursday voted for the first time in the country's history to legally recognize gay civil unions, a measure that will provide same-sex couples with benefits similar to those of married couples. The mayor was expected to sign the measure into law.

The bill, which does not approve gay marriage, allows same-sex couples to register their union with civil authorities, granting them inheritance and pension rights, as well as other social benefits. Lawmakers were still finalizing the details.

Heterosexual couples who are not legally married can also be registered under the legislation.

The bill was severely criticized by the Catholic Church and conservative civil groups. It passed by a vote of 43-17, with all the opposition coming from the National Action Party of President Vicente Fox and president-elect Felipe Calderon.

The party is known for its opposition to abortion and its support for traditional families.

Mexico City is a federal district with its own legislature, and the law will apply only to residents of the capital, with a population of 8.7 million. This is the first time any state legislature has approved such a law anywhere in Mexico.

>>> So I wonder if American gays will go to Mexico to get a civil union now?
Talk about a reverse immigration problem!!! :)
Hey America, wake up!
Canada and now Mexico are slowly coming around.
I read yesterday where South Africa has opened up the laws...
America calls itself progressive... progressively stupid in this area if you ask me.

It is alarming that again, as in the US recent elections, the Roman Catholic Church seems compelled to try and dictate secular matters. The world is changing, and however much they fuss and fight over it the Roman Catholic Church's stance is not sustainable, never mind religiously correct.

They were wrong about babies being born with an extra finger being witches, they were wrong about left handed children being possessed, and they are wrong that God somehow makes defective people when he makes a gay person.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Snappy Answers to Inappropriate Questions

Might your heterosexuality just be a phase you will grow out of ?

Is it possible you just have an neurotic fear of people of your same sex?

Isn't it possible that all you need is a good same sex lover?

Your heterosexuality doesn't offend gays as long as you don't try and force it on them. Why do you feel compelled to seduce others into your heterosexual orientation?

Why do you insist on holding hands and being obvious making a public spectacle of your heterosexuality? Can't you just be what you are and keep it quiet?

How can you fully satisfy and understand your partner of the opposite sex when there are so many obvious physical, biological and temperamental differences between you that are so vast? How can a man understand what pleases a women sexually and vice-versa?

With all the societal support for marriage, the divorce rate is spiraling. Why are there so few stable relationships among heterosexuals?

How could the human race and all of nature survive if everyone were heterosexual like you, considering the menace of overpopulation to humanity and the environment?

-- Thanx Dawna!

Monday, November 13, 2006

The Most Valuable Stamp

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
From the Wichita Newsbrief
He was a stamp collector as a kid, so you can only imagine the surprise to a Broward County, FL campaign commissioner when he saw the unusual stamps on the absentee ballot. There were three of them, two of them were from the 20s and 30s, but it was the one with the upside down plane on it that was the eye catcher. It is one of the more famous stamps in the hobby, a 1918 printing of a WWI era "Jenny" airplane. Only 100 are known to exist. In a test run of the presses, four sheets of the stamps were accidentally printed with the plane upside down. The sheets were supposed to be destroyed, but 100 made it into the public. The stamp was worth anywhere between $200,000 to $400,000, but since it got canceled on the absentee ballot, its value dropped to between $20,000 to $100,000.

News Story
//Wikipedia

I was just thinking about this stamp not too long ago. Yes, I was a geeky stamp collector and had dreams of finding this stamp in some rotting box in a dusty attic.

My question is this... why would this person do this? I wonder what the motivation is? The vote can't be counted because there is no name on the ballot. There is more to the story I'm sure.

Message of the Iraqi Resistance to the American People







This video claims to come from the Iraqi people, who are fighting in resistance to an enemy who has invaded their sovereign country, removed their leader, killed tens upon tens of thousands of innocent civilians and created civil war in their streets... We need leaders out there, people, leaders who are willing to stand up for the entire world, and be the kind of role model that only America can produce... We have to make this right... It's not time to be afraid... It is time to stand up for all future generations everywhere... If freedom falls in America, it will fall throughout the world...

Tuesday, November 7, 2006

don't you just love the complexities of the mind?

Acoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. the rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Monday, November 6, 2006

What is a Snook?

Snook
People have been asking, "what is the deal with the picture of the fish as your default pic?" Well, it is a Snook... and I am a Snook... I love to spend time in the water... I think it's cool!
Learn more about my fishy friend.
Basic website
Wikipedia
A site dedicated to catching the fish.

Saturday, November 4, 2006

A New Gym...

Today I joined a gym to stop my ass size from increasing any further due to the office job and the lack of sport because of the cold weather.

Why does the pricing have to be as confusing as cell phone crap. "Well, you can have this for this price, and that for that price, but we can't negotiate at all for this price. When you sign up you must pay this one-time fee, but we will give you a discount on this other fee. " GEEZE!

We signed the contract, and how did we celebrate?
By going to McDonalds!!