Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin Dies at 71

Will you please join me in saying Good-Bye and Thank You to George Carlin, who died Sunday of heart failure.

I will NEVER forget one summer afternoon in the mid-70's when my youngest brother brought home a borrowed Carlin LP. It was one of the few times we sat together quietly in the same room without arguing. We were being so BAD together. I think I was probably eight or nine and he would have been five years older. It was the one with the "Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV" and we would be in SO MUCH TROUBLE if we were caught! What a way to bring together a brother and a sister. For the next two weeks every time we saw each other we enjoyed a private giggle.

My Ex and I caught Carlin's show in Vegas sometime in the early 90's. I thought I was going to pee my pants as he explained the different ways of walking through a fart. What a talent for making people look at themselves and the things they do everyday in a new and interesting way.
George was one of the best. He was the last of the greats of his generation such as Richard Pryor, Redd Foxx and Lenny Bruce. All of today's comedians should be in mourning.

George is probably one of the main reasons I am so cynical about organised religion.

The Seven Words You Can Never Say On TV
by George Carlin

I love words. I thank you for hearing my words.
I want to tell you something about words that I think is important.
They're my work, they're my play, they're my passion.

Words are all we have, really. We have thoughts but thoughts are fluid.
then we assign a word to a thought and we're stuck with that word for
that thought, so be careful with words. I like to think that the same
words that hurt can heal, it is a matter of how you pick them.

There are some people that are not into all the words.
There are some that would have you not use certain words.
There are 400,000 words in the English language and there are 7
of them you can't say on television. What a ratio that is.
399,993 to 7. They must really be bad. They'd have to be outrageous
to be separated from a group that large. All of you over here,you 7,
Bad Words. That's what they told us they were, remember?
"That's a bad word!" No bad words, bad thoughts, bad intentions,
and words.

You know the 7, don't you, that you can't say on television?
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
Those are the heavy seven. Those are the ones that'll infect your soul,
curve your spine, and keep the country from winning the war.
"Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, CockSucker, MotherFucker, and Tits"
Wow! ...and Tits doesn't even belong on the list. That is such a friendly
sounding word. It sounds like a nickname, right? "Hey, Tits, come here,
man. Hey Tits, meet Toots. Toots, Tits. Tits, Toots." It sounds like a
snack, doesn't it? Yes, I know, it is a snack. I don't mean your sexist
snack. I mean New Nabisco Tits!, and new Cheese Tits, Corn Tits,
Pizza Tits, Sesame Tits, Onion Tits, Tater Tits. "Betcha Can't Eat Just
One." That's true. I usually switch off.

But I mean, that word does not belong on the list. Actually none of the words belong on the list,
but you can understand why some of them are there. I'm not
completely insensitive to people's feelings. I can understand why
some of those words got on the list, like CockSucker and
MotherFucker. Those are heavyweight words. There is a lot going on
there. Besides the literal translation and the emotional feeling.
I mean, they're just busy words. There's a lot of syllables to contend
with. And those K's, those are aggressive sounds. They just jump out at
you like "coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer. coCKsuCKer, motherfuCKer."

It's like an assault on you. We mentioned Shit earlier, and 2 of the
other 4-letter Anglo-Saxon words are Piss and Cunt, which go
together of course. A little accidental humor there. The reason that
Piss and Cunt are on the list is because a long time ago, there were
certain ladies that said "Those are the 2 I am not going to say. I
don't mind Fuck and Shit but 'P' and 'C' are out.", which led to such
stupid sentences as "Okay you fuckers, I'm going to tinkle now."

And, of course, the word Fuck. I don't really, well that's more
accidental humor, I don't wanna get into that now because I think
it takes to long. But I do mean that. I think the word Fuck is a very
important word. It is the beginning of life, yet it is a word we use to
hurt one another quite often. People much wiser than I am said,
"I'd rather have my son watch a film with 2 people making love
than 2 people trying to kill one another. I, of course, can agree. It is
a great sentence. I wish I knew who said it first. I agree with that but
I like to take it a step further. I'd like to substitute the word Fuck for
the word Kill in all of those movie cliches we grew up with. "Okay,
Sheriff, we're gonna Fuck you now, but we're gonna Fuck you slow."
So maybe next year I'll have a whole fuckin' ramp on the N word.
I hope so.

Those are the 7 you can never say on television, under any
circumstances. You just cannot say them ever ever ever. Not even
clinically. You cannot weave them in on the panel with Doc, and Ed,
and Johnny. I mean, it is just impossible. Forget those 7. They're out.

But there are some 2-way words, those double-meaning words.
Remember the ones you giggled at in sixth grade? "...And the cock
CROWED 3 times" "Hey, the cock CROWED 3 times. ha ha ha ha. Hey, it's in
the bible. ha ha ha ha. There are some 2-way words, like it is okay for
Kirk Youdi to say "Roberto Clametti has 2 balls on him.", but he can't
say "I think he hurt his balls on that play, Tony. Don't you? He's holding
them. He must've hurt them, by God." and the other 2-way word that
goes with that one is Prick. It's okay if it happens to your finger. You
can prick your finger but don't finger your prick. No,no.

Here you will see a video of an extension of his original bit:

1 comment:

barbara said...

Hi Snooker,
I'm going to sound weird, but I have never heard George Carlin's comedy before ! No kidding; where was I ? Ha !
I try and be tolerant to all expresions or( non-expressions ) of Faith.
Because I believe ( in a non-prganized way), pertains more to my personal Sprituality than coventional religious practices.

On the other hand, I feel like a teen again reading about those 7 banned words...
Language fascinates me.

RIP George.