Life's lessons

Not long after my mother kicked me out of the house, she went all soppy on me and sent me a book, "Life's Little Instruction Book". Strange thing from a woman who had only months before told me that she didn't want to see me again.

I guess Ma was trying to reach out and teach me things she figured she wouldn't be around for. How funny to expect a book to do that... a book which must be opened and ingested.

The time was not right for me and this book. Understandably it was a rough period in an already pretty shitty existence. I thumbed through the pages quickly, but none of the entries hit home in my stupid teenager mind so the cute little paperback went into a box and did not come out until years later.

When I was in my early 20's I stumbled upon this book again. Even though it carried with it so many bad memories I read through each of the pages and considered each short sentence offering wisdom for life.

Some of them were quite down to Earth:
"Check for toilet paper before sitting down." (uh huh, I've rarely been burned on that one)
"Marry a woman you love to talk to. As you get older her conversational skills will be as important as any other" (I think that I've managed this quite well, thank you)
"Accept a breath mint if someone offers you one." (usually this is a thinly veiled suggestion, one which I often use myself when faced with someone who suffers from temporary halitosis)
"Never cut things which can be untied" (yeah, this is true on so many levels)

While others were more abstract, and gave me pause:
"Don't confuse comfort for happiness." (ooo... this took a while to understand)
"Life will sometimes hand you a magical moment, savor it." (very much like the roses thing, but more succinct - I use this often)
"Let some things remain mysterious." (I have a harder time with this one)

Even with what I often feel is a swiss cheese brain, these short and simple sentences have remained front and center in my thoughts for years. People have told me that I should have studied philosophy or something, they say it because I have a different way of looking at life. What I secretly think is that I've taken to heart many of the things found in this book. Even if it weren't for the book, I think I would have a different outlook on life simply because of the way I've lived it.

But the one simple saying from the book which I remember the best, the one that prods me the hardest:
"Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation."
Oh Honey! This is it. It says so much, but without pointing fingers.
It goes right along with the train of thought that says you should take responsibility for your own actions, and I love it. The world would be a better place if people were to automatically take responsibility for their own actions.

Another "life lesson" which was not in the book in so many words, but certainly keeps hitting me in the head is "You're right about that".

In my 30's I was a HUGE PBS (public television) viewer/supporter. One of the specials I would clamor to watch was Dr. Wayne Dyer. Here's a guy I could really wrap my brain around. His concept that just allowing someone to be right is a powerful idea. He said things like, "If you have the choice to be right or to be kind... always choose to be kind."

One of his monolougues was heavy with the thought that arguing over the little things makes no sense and could possibly be counterproductive when the bigger things come along. If you have no idea how to bend and be flexible with the minutiae of life, the serious crap is going to make you snap. I've found this to be true in so many divisions of my life, not just with my partner, but with family members, coworkers, everyone. "You're right about that"... try it, it doesn't hurt too badly.

This brings me to the thing that got me started on all of this. I don't even know who's blog it was that I saw this... only that they said the writer was 90 when in actuality she's just turned 50. Whoops.

As I read this it occurs to me that there are some sections of my life in which I could really use some work. Namely #'s 4, 9, 28, 29, and 42.
How about it, what do you think you could do better in your life?

Written By Regina Brett, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland, Ohio . "To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolled over to 50 in August, so here is the column once more:"

1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.

8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.

12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.

16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.

17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.

18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.

19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.

35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.

36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.

38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.

41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.

43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

45. The best is yet to come.

46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

48. If you don't ask, you don't get.

49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

What I miss from America... the music

One thing I miss the most about America is the fabulous music. I understand completely that it is a cultural thing. The Germans simply aren't into blues/jazz/rock/country music the same way the Americans are... this music came up and out of the "bottom" of America, thus it is deeply steeped into our souls.

The radio stations here play the popular music for Europe. We won't go into it, but let's just say that there are some songs which really grate on my nerves, yet they are much-loved anthems here in Germany. You guessed it, they get almost constant radio play here... dammit.

Today I got a hankerin' (yeah, how many people can pull that off) for classic rock and roll. I'm not thinking Chuck Berry here... but the stuff that was popular on rock stations in the 70's, 80's and 90's.

?Have I ever said how much I LOVE the Internet? Yes ladies and gentlemen, INTERNET RADIO SAVED MY SANITY TODAY. Take a look at a partial list of music I've heard in the last few hours.

Rush, “Tom Sawyer”
Van Halen, “Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love”
The Police, “Every Breath You Take”
The Rolling Stones, “Honky Tonk Woman”
Pink Floyd, “Wish You Were Here”
Blind Faith, “Can’t Find My Way Back Home”
Lynyrd Skynyrd, “Don’t Ask Me No Questions”
Doobie Brothers, “China Grove”
ZZ Top, “Pearl Necklace”
Gary Wright, “Dream Weaver”
The Eagles, “Already Gone”
Supertramp, “Goodbye Stranger”

Speaking of sucky radio. Several of my Clear Channel Radio buddies lost their jobs today. It's all about money, honey. Their radio shows will be filled in by someone who is not local, who pipes this to about 200 stations, and who is certainly not paid enough. More info about the nationwide firings here.

I leave you with a link which explains why the music industry in America sucks right now. Unfortunately it doesn't tell us how to fix it.
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-856606244008931882

This is the stuff dreams are made of

If you have somehow not yet seen the video of Susan Boyle which has been making the rounds all week, I request that you stop reading right now and go here. My words can wait, you need to experience this without me spoiling it for you.

Miss Susan Boyle, never been married, never even been kissed. She lives with her cat and is currently unemployed. A situation which I sincerely hope changes very soon. Her story is quite similar to British tenor Paul Pots who also wowed the audience during the show "Britons Have Talent".

Susan is also nothing special to look at. Upon first glance she is downright frumpy. Simple but elegant dress, lower class accent, 'can't do anything with it' hairstyle, eyebrows that Andy Rooney would be envious of. In short, the "everyman" or "everywoman" as it would be.

Yet she got up onto that stage, faced dingle-head Simon Cowell with barely noticeable trepidation and sung her heart out. You know what? She's good. She's very good. Her song choice is a hard one, "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Misarables.

What a fitting song title. She was truly living a dream up on that stage, a dream of singing in front of large audience that thanks to cheaply made "Reality TV" - and the lovely side effect of the Internet, namely "going viral" - she has had the chance to live it out.

But the story behind the story is this evil little side of all of us who see a person like this get up in front of an audience and expect a William Hung moment. How could this person with no polish, none of the things we expect from exceptional people stand up there and say that she wanted to be famous? Who does she think she is?

Deep down, in places we don't like to think about, we are all this way. We might have admired her pluck, but we were ready to laugh at her, we were expecting a healthy dose of schadenfreude. May the laughter start, come on... the producers of this show wouldn't let us down.

As the saying goes, don't judge a book by its cover. Talent doesn't always come in a pretty package, it just IS. Society has pre-conditioned us to believe that only the beautiful can have talent, only the the perfect can rise to the top of the heap. So when we see someone like Miss Boyle on the stage it is only natural for us to summarily dismiss her as a plump, decidedly unfashionable "nobody". It is a human trait which I generally find disgusting.

I love it. Here is an average person with above-average talent and the guts to stand up and be heard. She may not be stunningly beautiful, but what she does have is spunk, and lots of it... and the talent to back it up. Oh, and she has LOTS of viewers, 20 million views and counting on the original YouTube clip. All of this is a prime example of a human trait I cherish... our love for the underdog.

Thanks Susan Boyle for your dream. It reminds us to ignore our own nagging doubts and pursue what we want most... no matter how big or little it is.

Do Re Mi!!!!!!!

I absolutely LOVE IT!!!
Shamelessly stolen from Christina at AmiExpat.
More than 200 dancers were performing their version of "Do Re Mi", in the Central Station of Antwerp." All they needed was Julie!
Maybe you should go see it larger, visit YouTube.

Trekkie Heaven!

For those that either haven’t heard or aren’t paying attention, (or simply aren't geeks) the newest installment in the Star Trek movie franchise, directed by mindfuck-expert JJ Abrams is set to premiere in theaters in early May of 2009.

The movie, simply titled Star Trek, is taking things back to the very beginning and will be a chronicle of the early days of Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock, and the rest of the crew of the Enterprise. Nothing like going back in time, eh?

I will admit it here... Watching the trailers gives me goosebumps. Yes, I am THAT much of a geek.

Just days ago That Queer Expatriate, Adam let me know that he will join me and Cliff and Sarah better known on the Interwebs as The Regensbloggers in a pilgrimage in May to see the movie in original version and on the best screen with the best sound system we can find.

Imagine my excitement today when this SKYPE message from a colleague of mine pops up on my screen.

Bitterman says: would you describe or categorize yourself as a trekkie or sort of?

Heh, heh, heh... he had me at "describe".

Snooker says: of course!!!
Bitterman says: well, ...
Bitterman says: how should I put it, I just purchased two tickets for the Royal Charity Premiere for the new Trek Movie in London Leicester Square for April 20th... WEEKS before the global release May 6-8
Snooker says: OMG!
Bitterman says: and I don't really know who would accompany me
Bitterman says: interested?

Is he kidding? At this point I'm happier than a tornado in a trailer park!
We talked about money, and transport, and about how My Sweet No will be in Egypt anyway, and how it was really looking like I could actually DO this. But wait, these things are usually black tie affairs. What on Earth am I going to wear? It seems that he already has his suit:

Bitterman says: two things to keep in mind:
I'll wear my uniform (for the uninitiated, he is talking about a crew uniform - yes, from the shows... I don't know if I should be jealous or freaked out) and don't take any luggage with me and I want to take a flight back on Tue 21st so we would have to spend the night at the bars.

Heh, heh... all night... in bars in London... drinking and well, you know... drinking some more... with my buddy in a Star Trek Next Generation uniform. This will be something to tell my ... hm, ok... so no grandchildren... This will be something to blog about!

My DIY Fisheye

I really love spring, the new buds on all the trees and bushes, the "Mother Nature" green coming out, and most of all the warmer temperatures that come with more frequent sun.

It also means that I've been spending even more time with my camera. This has lead to experimentation with different home made lenses. The picture you see here was taken with a DIY (do it yourself) Fisheye lens.

Start at a building supply house with a "peephole", like you might find in your front door. This is the thing that allows you to see into the outside world from the comfort and safety of home. I've always found the effect of the peephole kinda cool. Yes, I'm the type of annoying person who will wait until I think you are going to be looking out this hole and I will put my face up close to it... so you get a better view, you know.

Today I was doing some spring cleaning and having a "car wash" in my kitchen sink. (cue the song "Car Wash" here - depending on your age, you might go for the Rose Royce version... or maybe the Christina Aguilera N. Missy Elliot) Maybe it would be cool to take a picture of this strange moment. As I was loading it onto Flickr, I thought I might change lenses and see what the fisheye would do. (you know that all of this was MUCH more interesting than doing any actual CLEANING, right?)

Well, it isn't a perfect way to show off the fisheye, but it was cute for the experiment. You can see the first, non fisheye version here.

For my lens experiment I picked up a peephole at the previously discussed building supply house, a plastic container (in this case an Extra "Professional" gum box - aw, come on... PROFESSIONAL gum?), a 52mm UV lens filter and packing tape. Attach the peephole to one end of the gum box, attach the other end of the gum box to the lens filter, screw your new fisheye onto the camera. Voila!

Just for the heck of it, how about a picture of Fisheye Frank? To be fair, Sweet No was kinda holding his ears back... You know what? He really doesn't like that... can you believe it? I mean, not only is he one of the most photographed cats I know, but he also must suffer so much inhumane treatment at the hands of these so-called humans. Things like doing the chicken dance on two legs are just beneath him.

And because I know you're all going to run right out to the store and buy yourself the equipment for one of these cool things, I thought I would include a picture of what it all looks like.

Oh yeah also in this picture is a second lens I made very much the same way, except instead of the peephole lens, I put a child's kaleidoscope toy on it. This thing makes some freaky pictures... in fact I'm a little afraid to post them just in case someone thinks innocent Snooker has been tripping on acid or something. I took a picture of my neighbor's TV (nothing too bad about taking pictures of neighbor's windows at night is there?) and it looks trippy. Come on! His TV is HUGE. I've seen walls smaller than this guy's set. When I wanted to take a picture of a lit object at night... his TV was the first thing I thought of. See what I mean about people thinking I'm on drugs? OK, I'll go to bed now. (note to self, no more posting after midnight)


Pretty geeky, eh?