Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Couples Meme

SassyFemme started this meme which she said was designed to satisfy her nosiness. Although I'm not really nosy, I think it's interesting to consider these things for yourself.

I won't tag anyone, but if you would like to participate make sure you comment back.

1. How long have you been together? As friends/pen pals since January of 1997, dating exclusively since 2001, and married in January 2005. Yes, we are officially married in the eyes of the German government. Too bad it doesn't apply to the American government.

2. Who pursued who? Well she found me on the Internet first and hounded me until I would write her back on a regular basis. On the other hand when it came to taking the relationship to the next level, I would say that ball was in my court.

3. Do you wear any type of wedding/commitment ring? If so, which hand? We both wear a simple band on our left hand even though we live in a country that traditionally displays it on the right.

4. What was the hardest thing about learning to live together? Probably just setting up boundaries, there really wasn't any ONE thing that I can think of, although N. might have different ideas.

5. Who takes longer to get ready in the morning? N. certainly holds the record here. I can go from wake up alarm to ready to walk out the door in about 25 minutes. N. would still be "gelling" her hair in that amount of time, IF she were even out of bed.

6. Do you usually eat breakfast together? Unfortunately not during the week. We just haven't gotten together on this one. I think it would be a very important thing, a way of "getting on the same page" so to speak. She leaves a bit earlier than I do and really I get the feeling that she isn't hungry at that hour.

7. Do you ever share clothes? Besides having different tastes in clothing we really don't have the same size at all... we are pretty much the Arnold Schwarzenegger / Danny DeVito kind of couple.

8. Who does most of the cooking? We tend to split this, I do more of the cooking, she does more of the baking. She just loves making cakes or cookies, and she has her own special way of making muffins. The main problem we have is that often times I end up doing the dishes no matter who was busy in the kitchen.

9. Who usually takes out the trash? Equally shared I would say although I am the one that "polices" the recycling separation. Truthfully it is funny - N. is German, and Germany has so many ways to recycle, in fact as a society they are quite ecologically-minded. BUT my N. had to be taught how to divide items for recycling, and still I occasionally need to move things from one can into its appropriate home.

10. If you have pets, who usually does litter box or poop patrol? We have one cat, he is the ruler of the house. She maintains the front end, I deal with the back end. Some how I think I got the stinky end of the deal. But we have one instance where this is not necessarily true. When he pukes I often am tapped for clean up duty. As far as I'm concerned that comes out of the front end and should be her area... thoughts on this matter? Would anyone like to back me up on this?

11. Which one of you is more likely to answer the phone when it rings? Most of the time it is her family, or at least someone who expects a German speaker to pick up the phone. In this case I think it is simply better for her to answer the phone.

12. Who's in charge of the remote if you're watching TV together?
We rarely watch TV, actually rarely watch it together. If I'm watching it is usually a movie DVD, and she doesn't really like movies. If she is watching it is a show in German and probably not something I would watch even if I could understand 100%.

13. Who usually drives when you go out together? She's the driver in Germany, I'm the driver in America. This means that she is usually driving. I do drive around here, but it is rare.

14. Which one of you takes care of spiders and bugs that get into the house? Whoever happens to find the offending creature.

15. Facing the bed, who sleeps on which side? If you're standing at the foot of the bed, looking at the head of the bed, I'm on the right. This has been "the way" since the beginning. But recently when we were traveling I learned for her it isn't about which side of the bed she sleeps on, only which side is closest to the bathroom. So I found myself sleeping on the "wrong" side of the bed in one location although I noticed that she had forgotten this "new rule" in the next hotel, and so slept on my normal side again.

16. Who usually checks the (postal) mailbox? N.'s job, no question.

17. If something breaks or goes wrong in the house, which one of you is more likely to either fix it or call someone to fix it? We are both "office girls" although when it comes to tools I've been around them much more. She has a toolbox which is quite noticeably kept out of my reach.

18. Who is generally the neater of you? N. might disagree but I think we are both pretty much slobs. OK, neither one of us is the Oscar Madison type (hmm... obscure reference to 60's play and 70's TV show The Odd Couple is bound to show your age - eh, what the heck). Food for thought is that we live in an apartment which is by Berlin standards rather small, we are both able-bodied women, and yet we have seriously considered the need for a maid.

19. Who handles the checkbook/pays the bills? N.'s job - language differences. But she would happily relinquish the task at any time.

20. What was your last fight/disagreement about? Hmm... it's not really an argument because we don't have many... But our last disagreement was about hair in the bathroom. For me it is that I need to remove the hair which sticks to the wall after I'm done drying what is left on my head. For her it is the fact that until I told her what was happening, she didn't empty the hair trap in the shower... you know, the IMPORTANT stuff.

21. When you slow dance together, who leads? She does. But! She's quick to point out that I suck as a follower. To her credit I've been told this by at least one other person who I would consider an authority on the subject. My question is: How does a person get better at this?

22. What do you love the most about your other half? Her passion - when she wants something she works until she has it. I can tell her anything and she won't be shocked. Her love gives me the impression that the best is yet to come. She says what I need to hear, not just what I want to hear. She has a very calming effect on me, on most people actually. I love waking up at her side - whichever side that is. She has a way of doing these small things which let me know that she cares - she manages to understand the fact that I'm not very good at this same talent. N. is the type of person that will walk beside me when I need it, walk behind me pushing me when I need that, and walk in front of me encouraging me onward; she brings out the best in me.

This is one meme which makes me wish my N. were a blogger. I would be interested to read her thoughts on these same questions.


SassyFemme said...

Oh I have so many questions after reading this. I'll have to start reading through your blog archives to get to know you better. Thanks for doing this and pointing me to it. :)

Diane Mandy said...

Sounds like a healthy, 50-50 relationship to me!

Maria said...

Bing isn't a blogger either. She doesn't even read my blog! She thinks they are a waste of time.

And, yeah...I would LOVE to know what she thinks.