You Go Girls!Del Martin, 87, center left, and Phyllis Lyon, 84, center right, are married by San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom , center, in a special ceremony at City Hall in San Francisco, Monday, June 16, 2008. Also pictured are the couple's witnesses, Roberta Achtenberg, left, and Donna Hitchens. Lyon and Martin became the first officially married same sex couple after California's Supreme Court declared gay marriage legal. (AP Photo/Marcio Jose Sanchez, Pool)
Now is the time when most people ask me what this does to the fact that N. and I cannot get married in the States, and N. cannot immigrate. Unfortunately it does absolutely nothing for us, just a lot of our friends back home.
Immigration law is handled on a federal level, not on the state level. This means that gay marriage or even civil unions must be OK'd out of Washington D.C. for anything to happen to N. and myself. So we will continue to stay in Germany... literally until there is an act of Congress.
Once again I will say it. If either myself or N. had a penis, this would have been taken care of a LONG time ago. $63 and some paperwork and she could have come to America legally to be with me and live the "American Dream" (You know - freedom of choice, where all MEN are created equal, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness - all of that rot). As it is, we are missing that so called important part and can't do a damn thing about it. To me it is almost a case of sexism.
Now is the time when most people ask me what this does to the fact that N. and I cannot get married in the States, and N. cannot immigrate. Unfortunately it does absolutely nothing for us, just a lot of our friends back home.
Immigration law is handled on a federal level, not on the state level. This means that gay marriage or even civil unions must be OK'd out of Washington D.C. for anything to happen to N. and myself. So we will continue to stay in Germany... literally until there is an act of Congress.
Once again I will say it. If either myself or N. had a penis, this would have been taken care of a LONG time ago. $63 and some paperwork and she could have come to America legally to be with me and live the "American Dream" (You know - freedom of choice, where all MEN are created equal, life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness - all of that rot). As it is, we are missing that so called important part and can't do a damn thing about it. To me it is almost a case of sexism.
Been reading:
8 comments:
You said:
If either myself or N. had a penis, this would have been taken care of a LONG time ago.
And:
To me it is almost a case of sexism.
So like if TQE found a nice non-US-citizen man over here he wanted to settle down with there in the States, that would fly?
Dear Cliff, you play both sides so well! :) Perhaps I should have hired you as a lawyer (instead of the shysters I did have) before leaving my home, family and career to come to Germany just so I could be with the one I love.
I do see your point, but the basis of my statement is that one of us MUST have a penis to allow marriage and thus immigration. In Adam's case one of them would have to have a vagina.
My off-the-cuff thought on the sexism is that by instituting a law that says only people of opposite sex can marry, you are excluding a sex no matter HOW you look at it. Thus, institutionalizing sexism.
I would like to sit down and chat with you about it some time.
You said:
I would like to sit down and chat with you about it some time.
Yeah, I'd like that!
8pm., Friday, Alte Linde, near the Steinerne Brücke, Regensburg. That would be ideal.
Details here.
you are excluding a sex no matter HOW you look at it. OK, I can see what you mean. That't not what I'd traditionally call sexism. I'd call it "discrimination against homosexuals." Either way, it's not good!
I have a reputation for hair-splitting, so uh...sorry about that. I try not to let that get in the way of making sense, but sometimes I'm simply fraught with inner conflict, struggling to decide between accuracy/precision and effective communication.
I hope you get that act of Congress, Snook. Gay people should have the same access, rights, and privileges as everyone else. It woeful discrimination to prevent people from marrying.
Hopefully someday :)
@ Cliff - Hey, no worries. Keep me on my toes! As for meeting you in Regensburg, it won't happen this time unfortunately. Perhaps we can connect at the Whiny Expat meeting in Bremen (I believe).
@ Diane - You are a sweetie, thanks so much for your lovely comments.
@ Cowgirl - I completely agree.
would you want to go back to the USA if you could marry and if N could immigrate?
There might be a couple of ways to get around this:
1. N could get married to a male U.S. citizen and then apply for a Green Card. Now, I'm not saying that this is legal (it isn't).
2. Depending on whether you gals want kids, N could get pregnant and give birth to a child in the U.S., who then is an American citizen (legal).
3. N could try to enroll in an American college and come over on a J-1 or F-1 visa. Fine, the transition to an employer-sponsored H-1 is getting more and more difficult, but depending on her line of work, it could be feasible (legal, too).
None of this constitutes legal advice, BTW. :-)
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