"Be Cynical" by Groucho Marx

* Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
* I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
* I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.
* Why should I do anything for posterity? What has posterity ever done for me?
* The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.
* I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception
* Money frees you from doing things you dislike. Since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.
* She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
* Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others


Love ya Groucho!