Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Airliner Terminology



What clients do when they find out what their full-coach fare will be.

Cargo that talks.

Airline Club:
Paradise-like kingdom guarded by dragon-like creatures.

Weather condition generated by airports.

Airline Sales Rep:
Underpaid demigod expected to perform superhuman tasks. Rare species.

The passenger went online and booked his own flight.

Direct Flight:
1) Connecting flight in disguise.
2) What civilians think a nonstop flight is.

In-flight Snacks:
Little treats sealed in a bag impervious to all but chainsaws.

Magic trick in which aircraft from several different airlines leave from the same gate at the very same moment.

Remain Seated:
Announcement: Phrase that creates an instant urge to go to the lavatory.

Minimum Connecting Time:
Time it takes for an Olympic gold medal sprinter to run between two gates.

Hotel Shuttle:
Vehicle subject to paranormal effect. While waiting, every hotel van will come by multiple times -- except yours.

Overhead Luggage:
Rectangular object expected to magically shrink from the size of a refrigerator to the size of a loaf of bread.

Frequent-flyer Programs:
Airline's term for Pandora's Box.

On Time:
Obscure term, meaning unknown.


tqe / adam said...

I always thought that Passengers were termed "self-loading cargo."

Snooker said...

@ Adam - Love it!! Personally when at airports I flash back to my days in Kansas seeing the feedlots filled with cattle moving along just because someone wants them too. Sometimes when being lined up like that I just want to let out with a big "MOOO".