Below are a few excerpts that made me giggle uncontrollably, but I suggest that you read the whole thing.
BTW, Dave Barry is, once again, running for President of the United States. If you're sick of our other (likely) choices, consider Dave.
"the broadcasting industry is shocked, shocked, when radio personality Don Imus, who has spent several decades making and chuckling at crude racist statements, makes a crude racist statement about the Rutgers women's basketball team. The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are deeply offended and immediately set about the difficult but necessary work of drawing still more attention to themselves."
"In entertainment news, author J.K. Rowling surprises fans of the Harry Potter series when she reveals that Albus Dumbledore, headmaster of Hogwarts School, was also, secretly, a United States senator from Idaho."
"In economic news, the Federal Reserve Board, responding to recession fears and the continued weakening of the dollar, votes unanimously to be paid in euros."
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