The Great 9/11 Tour Continues

Somerset, Pennsylvania - where I spent my first 14 years.

Home of one each, a brother and sister.

While I can say with no qualms that I am very happy that I don't live in this inhospitable land; it is rather pretty. The hills just seem to flow off as far as the eye can see. This is also the land of the "lake effect", where the moisture from the Great Lakes seems to dump snow all over the region with frightening frequency.

My brother is a great host and my sister a lovely tourguide. This is N.'s first time to visit my former home, and she seems to think it's ok...

We are currently finishing up the "Great 9/11 Tour" with a visit to Washington D.C. My first impressions after not being here in over 10 years... the Metro is dark and depressing, when did all of the places to visit become a "reserve at least two months out"?, and OMG! aren't the cherry blossoms beautiful!?!?

Last night we did a "Ghetto Tour". No, not a tour of the ghettos of D.C. (if they have any). No, this was a night tour to the special places which are lit up with a bus driver/tour guide that not only spoke what we will loosely term Ebonics, but was also horribly confused about history... UM, I'm thinking that Nixon was not impeached IN the Watergate Hotel.

For those who are uninitiated into the world of Pennsylvania, I thought I would include a list of the stereotypes:

You know you are from Pennsylvania when:

• You have an uncontrollable urge to buy bread and milk when you hear the word "snow."
• You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
• You only own three spices: salt, pepper, ketchup.
• You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
• You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
• You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
• Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
• You owe more money on your snowmobile or John Deere than your car.
• The first day of "Buck Season" and "Doe Season" is a school holiday.
• Your snowblower gets stuck on your roof.
• The local paper covers National and International headlines on 1/4 page but requires six pages for sports.
• School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
• You think the start of deer hunting is a National Holiday.
• You pronounce "Suite" as SUIT, not SWEET. As in Living Room Suite.
• You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
• You find -20F "a little" chilly.
• You ask the waitress for "dippy eggs" for breakfast.
• The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer.
• You know the four seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
• There are still places you can still stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
• You say the correct pronunciation LANG-kist-er instead of the mispronounced Lan-CAST-er, and LEB-en-in instead of the equally incorrect Leb-a-NON.
• You know the only way to make good fastnachts is to cook them in LARD.
• You live within two miles of a plant that makes potato chips, corn chips,pretzels, candy, or ice cream, or that packages turkeys, beans, or bologna.
• You can stop along the road to buy fruits, vegetables, or crafts on the "honor system."
• You know what REAL pot pie is.
• YOUR turkey has "filling," not "stuffing," and most certainly, NOT "dressing."
• You know that chicken corn soup from a fire house is the most nearly perfect food on earth.
• You say things like, "Outen the lights," "I'm calling off today," and "They're calling for snow."
• You've heard of distelfinks and hex signs.
• You only buy your beer and soda by the case.
• You think the roads in any other state are smooth.
• Hearing horses clopping down a paved street doesn't bring you to the window to see what's going on outside.
• You never see any Confederate Flags, except on the Gettysburg Battlefield.
• You prefer Hershey's Chocolate to Godiva.
• You consider Pittsburgh to be "out west," and you know the fastest way to Philly is the Turnpike.
• School closings due to snow take the radio stations a half an hour to finish, because just about every town has its own school district.
• When someone says 1972, you think "Agnes," and when someone says 1979, you think "TMI."
• You call sloppy joes "barbecue."
• When it snows, they put cinders on the roads instead of sand.
• You can give directions to Intercourse with a straight face.
• Know that Yuengling is pronounced "Ying-ling," and believe that it really is a premium beer (which comes from growing up on Schlitz and Iron City).
• Have the Rolling Rock bottle memorized: "From the glass lined tanks of Old Latrobe, we tender this premium beer for your enjoyment. . . . "
• Know that Wilkes-Barre is pronounced "Wilks Berry."
• Can pronounce "Knoebels."
• Can pronounce (or spell) "Schuylkill."
• Live for summer, when street fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.
• Have a day off school on the Monday after Thanksgiving, which is the first day of hunting season.
• Never have to worry about being stuck in a ditch when it's snowing. -someone in a 4WD pickup with tow chains will be along shortly.
• Frequently go "with," e.g., "You going to the market? Mind if I come with?"
• Refer to something as "a whole nother," e.g., "That's a whole nother issue."

Let's hear it for free wi-fi in hotels!!!