Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Random Tuesday - Wednesday Edition ... now THAT's Random.

OK, so I'm LATE! Get off me! Work is crazy and my home life is ... well, let's say busy.

Why, you ask, is your personal life so busy Snooker? Because we are moving. No, not back to America (ahem, not on your life)... No, not to a nice warm climate such as Barcelona like ex-blogger Diane, the Martinis for Two lady. NO... we're NOT off to some nice paradise on a tropical island to be a Scuba Divemaster/Instructor team...

None of those things. We are moving ACROSS THE STREET. Yes, all the trials and tribulations of moving without the moving truck. Expenses, uprooting and just general mix up of course, but we will basically still be living on the same street. We will have the same view out of our windows, but from the other side. A little silly, eh?

Well we WILL get more space and a nicer building (for those Berliners reading we're moving into an Altbau) which has been built and rebuilt twice in the last 100 years. The heating and plumbing is newer and more up to date, the basement storage area is twice as big (allowing more room for diving equipment) we will get a nice winter garden with multiple use possibilities (do we put the dining room table in there, or go for a reading room?) AND all of this for the same price per square meter without windows which act more like screens.

Prepare for more moving whining stories as time goes on.

Speaking of whining, summer is ending. My daily scooter morning commute now includes wearing the motorcycle jacket in the interest of not freezing my ass off. May I just say that I really don't like wearing this restrictive straitjacket?

While I do understand the safety qualities, I somehow can't get accustomed to the loss of air movement. There is just something to be said for cruising down the street at 45kph with the wind whipping my clothes around.

Which brings me to yesterday. Imagine Snooker in a bright salmon button down linen blouse complete with collar. Put that Snooker on a bright blue scooter moving at city traffic speeds. Now open your mind's eye to the amount of wind we are talking about as I cruise along. Something about how the air whips around the collar causes the ends to flip up and down... at times VERY fast... most of the time moving up and down in such a way as to hit my collarbone then jump up to the bottom of the helmet. As you might have guessed, I get quite a few bemused looks, even from the normally dour-looking Berliners. (I'm just happy to have made your day, people)

The folks at the Berlin Hooters have missed the idea that the waitresses should have HOOTERS. Ahem, I think it will get tiring for the average big-eyed German guy to have his beer delivered by a pretty blonde if there really isn't any chest to stare at. He might actually end up thinking about the crappy service. Sorry ladies, but your wholesome good looks aren't going to carry you the whole way through life. Learn a skill, because generally from what I've experienced in the two times I've visited... you suck at waitressing.

As a former boss used to say... "They're not turning away Harvard graduates, you know".

Having said that, I must admit that tonight I will once again visit the sacred home of wings. This time I hope that they don't screw up my order and if they do let's have them bring too much food to the table the same way they did last time. I'll be taking my discerning Frenchie foodie office-mate to the temple of greasy American bar food. Yes, he has been warned. Oh, did I mention he is gay? YUP, either he will be impressed with the food or he is going to have a shit time tonight. Oh well, I've warned him several times.

My wife has a date tonight... and I am not involved... should that bother me?

Oh yeah, back to moving (only for a second... geeze). We bought a new toilet seat because Sweet No refuses to sit on one which has touched any one else's booty. (yeah, the same girl who every morning would throw her pjamas on the bathroom floor in front of the human toilet and beside the cat toilet) Back to the toilet seat, OK? It is really cool with dolphins on it and EVERYTHING!

What do we find when we go to check out the new apartment yesterday? The last tenant had already bought us a new one... a white one... and had removed the one which was on the toilet... how goofy/scary/strange is that? Perhaps he couldn't stand the thought of anyone else's booty on HIS seat. Um, yeah. Oh shit, I forgot to check if it is a German shelf toilet.

Inspired by others using Google Analytics to come up with blog fodder, I thought I would check it all out. I signed up and aside from now being positive that nobody is actually reading this crap... I did get something interesting... search terms. People search for the weirdest stuff:

1. bathroom manners germany - um, pretty much the same as America... except the guys are expected to sit down. It's called "Sitzpinkel". Don't ask me... I'm a girl, living with a girl.

2. berlin do re mi - Um no, you want Salzburg

3. berlin brothel girls pics - Interesting, but you're definately disappointed here

4. black man use his cock for sonoker stik - I wouldn't touch that with a 10 foot pole

5. christmas in october - ?

6. deep happy stuff in berlin, germany - HA! It's ALL deep happy stuff here

7. don't you just love sunny days - Why yes, I do

8. how can you tell when someone drinks alot - HEY! how did you end up here with that?

9. what is goofey mood - Definition ... Snooker

10. you always put a smile on my face and a skip in my step - Well thanks, I do my best.

and the best of all:
an american living the dream in berlin - You betcha baby!

Even though Keely is on holiday, you should head on over to the Un-Mom's blog to see what is going on. She is the one that came up with the whole Random Tuesday thing, and she should be thanked. I enjoy the thought that the theme she left for her guest bloggers was "naked". Go see how they do.

Been reading:

Health care system 'inhuman', 'stupid' - I get the feeling that fools like Limbaugh and Palin think that their smart-assed way of railroading the American people out of much-needed health care reform is a great thing to do. Reading "End of life" counseling as some kind of euthanasia program is just silly partisan witless thinking. Comparing these programs to the "selective medicine" program of Nazi Germany is incomprehensible and uninformed to say the least. I'm not saying that Obama's administration's bill is perfect, but at least they are trying, which is more than I can say for the last party in power.

Senate 'pillar' Edward Kennedy gets Medal of Freedom - I remember meeting Teddy Kennedy one sunny day in 1976 as my family was vacationing in Washington D.C. My father and I popped out of the car and dad asked Senator Kennedy if it would be OK to take a picture with his daughter. He stopped his conversation and turned for the picture, putting his arm around me with his hand on my shoulder (cold and clammy - ICK). When we popped back into the car my father (at that time a Democrat) proudly proclaimed, "That man may be President very soon", which earned him a stern look from my (Republican) mother.
No, he never made it to the White House although he did run a few times. In retrospect, however, I would assume that Teddy Kennedy did a lot more for the American people from his 47 years in the Senate seat.
On a side note - look on the left side of that article and you will see the other people who will also be awarded the Medal of Freedom, among them Billie Jean King and Harvey Milk.

I'll leave you with a funny that makes me laugh.


Jan said...

A gay French foodie guy? I dunno, girl; I don't think the odds are in your favor that he'll love it. You'll have to let us know.

Well, I Googled "Altbau" and got a Wikipedia article in German (now there's a big surprise). When I had it translate it into English, I got some amusing "All your base are belong to us" gibberish. "Enjoy the grandfathering of existing buildings!" I take it you're moving into an old building that's been renovated?

And a shelf toilet is...ewwww.

Bowleserised said...

Have you tried The Bird in Prenzlauer Berg for wings, steak and burgers? Seeeeriously good, and a pet dog instead of non-existent boobies.

Jan said...

I read the "shit" list to Beloved, and he says there's one missing.

Scientology: Bullshit.

Snooker said...

@ Jan 1
Grandfathering of existing buildings... hmm, not too far off.
Altbau is literally translated as "old built" (forgive me if I'm wrong word police, but dammit, that is close)
Here in Berlin MANY buildings are new or at the least have been rebuilt from the frame of an old one. To a Berliner saying that you are moving into an Altbau means that you will have high ceilings with crown moulding, large and pretty public areas (hallways) and quite possibly a nice courtyard in the back of the building. Our last apartment was in a Neubau (newly built - in this case the 60's) and was heartless in comparison.

@ Bowlerserised - The BIRD! Yes, I do really need to try them. I hear the food is great and the dog is cool.

@ Jan 2
HAHAHAHAHA! I love it!

Geotacs said...

it was nice read!

yeah moving ain't fun but hey you will get lots of new things and more space... worth the trouble

thanks for sharing!


Goofball said...

Actually the shelf toilet exists in the Netherlands as well at some places! Must be a religious thing ;) Do you know whether the shelf toilet exists in Bavaria?

hahaha for the scientology

oh and a french gay liking hooters???

CrackerLilo said...

Oh, I hate it when my house isn't right. I really hate moving (you should have heard me as I was pulling up stakes from Florida!) I sympathize, believe me.

Paganism: Shit makes good fertilizer. :-)