Sunday, November 15, 2009

They're BAAACK!

My main human slaves finally came back to worship me on Saturday night. They were gone entirely too long, I had no sleeping heater for three weeks, and you know that it is turning into winter!

Now it is Sunday morning and the slaves are otherwise occupied in the other room. It's the perfect time to tell you good people I am OK and will of course have trouble once again getting out regular updates.

Right now they are working on one of the big carrier thingies (you know, what they put all of their flimsy furs in when they will be away from home for a while). I overheard someone say that the combination lock on the Samsonite got twisted somehow. So I guess that NOW is a silly time to try to figure out what that combination is, huh? I think I'm safe right here for a long time.

Before they got here to restart their worshiping duties there were phone calls about delayed flights though some place named London (must be a hell hole, I've heard LOTS of calls about delays and cancellations in that place). Right after that call my substitute slaves discussed putting me in the car to take me to the airport to go pick up the main human slaves. Let me just tell you I made my way into my newest and unknown hiding spot when I heard that! The last time I went to the airport I was stuck in a box under a seat the whole way from Kansas to Berlin!

As soon as the replacement slaves took off to go get the real slaves I started to think about how best to "welcome" them back. The last time I just ignored them both for at least an hour. If they picked me up, I just turned my head away and did my best to make them put me back down. This really worked and let them know EXACTLY how I felt about them leaving me.

This time I came up with something even more ingenious. The plan was to piss off at least one of my main human slaves while making the other love me even more, but how to achieve this? After a little cat nap it came to me. When they come back, I would ignore the short, round one and show much love and attention to the tall one only. This would make the tall one overly happy and the short one upset. It worked like a dream! The tall one acted smug about it and the short one steamed. Genius I tell you!

Whoops, I just heard the Samsonwhatever thing open up. My time with you is limited.
Since I'm sure that many of you have decided to now worship me from afar, I thought I should tell you as soon as possible what I want for the upcoming holiday season... Just get me one of these and I will be happy for HOURS. That's what we all want, isn't it?
Make Frank Happy
Make Frank Happy
Make Frank Happy

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Frau said...

Welcome home! I hope you enjoyed your trip!

Goofball said...

oh come on Frank, you are way to intelligent to ask for one of those toys!!!

Withnail said...


Apologies for the message out of the blue. I am developing a series of Expat city guides, and are looking for local expats to help build them up, and in return benefit from advertising revenue and promotion of their blog/website. In most cases the core content has been developed and we now want the useful details that resident expats can provide.

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Would you be interested in contributing, or do you know of any other local expats who may like to contribute to our guide to Germany or Frankfurt on

If so please get in touch.

Best regards,


Jen said...

Cats are so cool. I can't wait to get a cat here! We were going to bring my cat to Germany but she died a few months before my move. :-( I think we're going to get another one after the New Year. Yay!!!